Thursday, January 19, 2012

My two Saras - Part II

Ever find that friend that you think about every day no matter where they are geographically or in their life? I have several of those and two of those girls happen to share the same name. I think about each of them every day for different reasons. If you haven't red Part I, you can find it here.

A Beautiful Sunflower

I had briefly met Sara a few times at different events of a mom's group that I was a part of before my life got hectic and crazy with work and school, but there was one particular day that I remember seeing her and thinking, "Man, I really want to hang out with her!" Whenever I get those nagging feelings like that, I normally listen to them and follow through with them because I view them as opportunities for lessons and boy was I in for a surprise.

We met at the park for our first meeting and just talked about whatever topics came up, letting our kids play in the sun. She struck me as absolutely know one of those girls that just glows when you see them. She is a mom of three girls, married to a guy she is completely committed to and loves to talk. She has a thirst for life that is contagious and a presence you constantly want to be around. She has so much to share with the world and I'm one of those that can sit and listen to her chatter all day long. She brings this comfort and glow to all conversations and when looking at her, like I said, she just oozes happiness. There are periods when she's not so happy but she looks at the positive in EVERY episode.

She's on her own journey of life dealing with what is thrown her way and she has had some curve balls She also has a gift of being a natural born teacher. This is where I benefited from her presence. After meeting Sara for the first time we ended up getting a few girls together on a regular basis, some that I so dearly miss right now and letting our kids play while we ate, drank, and talked about whatever came up. One of those mornings, I came having had just gotten in contact with my mom after not seeing her for 25 years, a story I still need to write. I came to the group with this pure and utter joy that I had never felt before and described the experience to my friends including this feeling of complete happiness and joy. When I shared what was going on with Sara, she started talking to me a little about what she had learned through her experience and questioning of life.

She told me something like this "That feeling that you feel, that utter joy and want to share it with everybody, that's LOVE, Amanda. And that type of LOVE is what God is." With my past experiences, I've had some trouble with God and religion and at this time was still in a searching stage as far as figuring out what God was to me. Everything for me in that moment, clicked. I walked away from that conversation completely a changed person. With my mom finding me, I felt complete. I knew where I had come from and that hole that made me feel so empty had been fulfilled. It wasn't my mom and the sense of "needing" a mother that fulfilled the hole , it was the feeling of what came with that experience. That feeling of love is something I had never felt before and through Sara and my own experiences, I learned how to give that love to myself. I now understood what people felt when they had their spiritual awakenings or had accepted God into their lives.

Over the course of several months, Sara and I would talk about what the definition of God meant to us, our purpose of life, the characteristics of humans and how to live in peace. She taught me so many lessons about life, how to embrace emotion and ride the wave of the emotion rather than resisting it was an important one. I wanted to be around her all the time. We would text or talk every single day each of us wondering how the other was doing, both of us learning from our conversations with each other.

Sara ended up having to leave Arizona to be in her own environment back in Massachusetts, where she feels at peace and I was very sad to see her go but so very happy for her because she was going to a place that had what she needed. The desert and the blandness of it was not for her. The forest, the green, the change of seasons, being in nature is her "home". I miss her dearly, our talks, the lessons, and OMG, her food. That girl can COOK! We still continue to share as much as we can with each other. Life has put us on pause as for as our relationship goes, but it's not scary and I know she is not one that I will ever lose in the paths of life.

How We Are All Connected

I know this because in her most important lesson of all she showed me. She taught me that we are all interconnected, through each other, through the earth, the animals and everything that exists. There's no need to make it to society's step ladder of celebrities to try and make a difference in the world; just being, existing, and living in a positive manner with the "love" that we hold is all that we need to do to make a change in the world.

After learning this lesson, I let go of my dreams of becoming famous and wanting to write that best selling novel or become the world renowned therapist. I also saw something that was happening that I wasn't even aware of until I the idea to write about my two Saras came in my head. While Sara ( the beautiful sunflower) was living her life and sharing her own experiences she made an impact on me and because of her lessons I changed my life and could not be more at peace. I shared these changes and these lessons with Sara (the queens of awkward situations) and I am watching her change her life through those lessons. The queen of awkward situations will share her experiences with another person and they will change their lives because of  it and THAT is how change happens.

It's almost like a little secret. When you learn what unconditional love is and can apply it to yourself and your life, you see life in a different light. You see people in a different light and can pin point others that have it. It's a gut feeling, an instinct. Not everyone wants to hear what you have to say about it. In the year that I've gained this knowledge I've only shared it with one other person besides the other Sara and I don't know if there will be another person. I just live the roller coaster of life, constantly learning, changing and sharing my own experiences in hopes that they will help others.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

This is my favorite picture of her. It's one that I took
in our neighborhood park one day where I thought
she looked absolutely beautiful. 

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